Group

I attend a group of LDS men that are in the same situation that I am in on Thursday evenings.  It is a great place where I feel comfortable and can share about my journey and what I am working on.  When I first joined the group, I was very apprehensive, but it has come to be a place of safety for me.  A place where I feel peace. 

I think that it is such a peaceful place for me because I am able to let my walls down and to express how I truely feel.  In writing that last sentence, I was not completely truthful.  I said that it was a place where I can express my feelings, but I can't really.  I don't remember the last time that I could tell you exactly how I was feeling.  I have become disconnected from my feelings.  I am working on that now. 

It overwhelms me sometimes that there is so much that I need to work on.  But then I remember that that is why we are here on earth.

Back to feelings....I sometimes feel...and when I think that I should be feeling...I typically am not.

Moments in my life when I felt something:
Grandpas' funerals
Grandma's funeral
Being lost in the woods at 8
Holding babies

At these moments I felt very much intune with my feelings.  I don't feel that way typically.  Sure I may get angry or sad, but not really.  I am in an emotional comma, and I am trying to find my way out.  It is sort of hard though.

Tonight at group Peter asked me a question.  How do I inspire others, and how do I inspire myself?  I need to think about that one a little more.