Why is the only thing I can think of right now. In President Holland's talk he discusses this. Why??? I acted out tonight. It is horrible. Every time I act out I feel like I am erasing part of the happy future life I could have. How am I supposed to go to group now. I don't want to share this. I feel like I have let everyone down.
Damn!
I am going to bed. Tomorrow is a new day with a new chance to do well.
I'm in the same boat.
ReplyDeleteI know...everday is a new chance
ReplyDeleteDear friend, your post made me cry. I know it is awful, but please keep fighting. I have been married for almost 5 years to a wonderful man who struggles with SSA. He has told me heartbreaking stories about driving around without his seatbelt on, hoping he would get in an accident and die because being a gay member of the church was so heartwrenchingly painful. He cried every night for months at a time. But just when he was about to give up and give in, I came into his life.
ReplyDeleteHe got some great counseling, and even though that attraction to men will probably always be there, it's not a big part of our lives. We have three wonderful children and a great marriage and we live the gospel. Please know this is possible for you. I know Christ suffered your every agony and is still watching over you. I'll be praying for you tonight. Much love from your sister in Christ.
Maggie, thanks for the comment. I won't ever stop fighting...I can't! I am growing and learning every day, and that is a success. I loved the comment.
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